Nice Ass Ma'am

I went for a four mile run this morning. Okay, enough about running.
This afternoon I was coerced with very little effort to drive the "accessory cart" at a women-only "Throw Your Balls Golf Tournament." It was nine holes of hilarity. The ladies played best ball golf without using golf clubs. The objective was for the ladies to drive around like guys in golf carts, drink beer and throw the balls down the fairways, onto the green and into the hole. Four holes had special effects. The Two Little Pigs (well paid teenagers in pig costumes) were on hole 3 with an oversized slingshot that the ladies used to project their balls. Another was a longest drive hole with a man sitting in the middle of the fairway on a beach chair with an umbrella to judge, assist and flatter the "golfers." The Walk of Shame Hole allowed each woman to take one giant step closer to the green before throwing her ball for every lover in her life that she could name by his full name, out loud (the winner was quite a surprise in my judgment). The last hole provided tennis rackets to launch the balls from the tee box.
Now no self conscious woman can play silly games without being silly, so enter the accessory cart driven by Dietrich, the northeastern European cart driver who only knows three words in English. He wore snug blue jeans, a blue striped shirt, black tie and red beret in the home country tradition of Cassanovas. Dietrich's cart was laden with gobs of beads, tiaras, boas, bangle bracelets and magic wands which he graciously awarded each lady for doing anything he thought deserved his attention. Dietrich received a lot of attention of his own because whenever he was asked a question by the ladies he could only answer with the three words he knew, "Nice ass Ma'am." It was astounding how many questions the ladies had after a few beers.
After decking the entire field of golfers out in diva accessories Dietrich grabbed the video camera and went back around to capture the subtle and not so subtle adventures on the course, around the refreshment cart and special effect holes. It will make for a great home movie and ransom DVD.
So what did you do today for fun?